Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Crazy Lawn-mower Man

As most of the people in my family will readily confirm, I am very anti social. I don't really hang out with the neighbors, nor do I socialize with them. I tolerate them. I know that I am supposed to be all nicey nicey with them, but I don't like most of them, and I just detest being fake. I'd much rather that they think I was a hermit.

Travis and I were sitting on the couch, watching Milk on Saturday evening. Great movie. Kind of long, though. 2.5 hours is a long time to sit for a movie. About halfway through the movie, I got up to take Beau outside. While I was in the back yard with Beau, Travis walked up the driveway to look at the spot in the lawn that he mowed. He said that he had missed a patch and was looking at it.

A friend of the neighbor, probably in his early 20s, chatted Travis up. He was talking to Travis, asking him if he could borrow the lawn mower. Travis explained to him that it wasn't his lawn mower and that he couldn't allow him to use it. He then, apparently, asked if Travis wanted to come over to the house and hang out and drink with him, since he had 'a bottle of vodka and a bottle of 'sec' '. Travis declined, and the guy kept talking to him for several more minutes. Travis eventually snaked his way back up the driveway, entering in the back door, where I had let Beau in just a few minutes before.

We went back in to the living room, to continue the movie, and Travis was telling me about his conversation with the 'obviously drunk' neighbor. Mind you, this was at 9PM. The sun had set, and it was slowly getting dark outside.

Then we hear a knock on the front door. Here is drunk neighbor boy. He wants to know if he can borrow the lawn mower. He really needs to mow his lawn. I tell him 'absolutely not'. He prattles on for a few minutes about how badly he needs it, and I said again, firmly, no. I then bid him good night and close the door. Incredulous, I looked at Travis.

Again, a knock on the door.
Drunk boy again. He wanted to know if I wanted to come over and drink with him, since it was the 'neighborly' thing to do. You know, hang out and drink with your neighbor. I politely declined. He then starts in again, and wants to know why he can't borrow the lawn mower. I said 'You're drunk, its dark outside, and you want to mow the lawn. Thats a liability. No.'

He shuffles off back next door. Travis and I continue watching our movie.
The rest of the evening was pretty quiet, except for an issue across the street, our other neighbors. Something happened, and there were 4 or 5 cop cars and a bunch of people out on the sidewalk. It was like a Cops episode. (Not unlike an earlier time when we had house guests.)

Fast forward to last night. Derek comes back after chatting with the next door neighbors. Apparently they had left town for the weekend, and left their 'friend', the law mower dude, in the house. After we turned him down to use the lawn mower, he wandered across the street to talk to those neighbors. When they asked him to leave, probably because they realized he was drunk, he got a little uppity. They asked him to leave again, to which he apparently claimed that it was a public sidewalk. Then he suggested that they fight. So they called the cops.
It wasn't until the cops were going to taze him that he submitted to behaving. The cops took him to the drunk tank to sleep out the night. I guess that he had no idea where he was 'staying' so he had a hard time getting back home. Travis and I did notice him weed-eating the yard Sunday morning.

The lawn still hasn't been mowed.


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