Tee'd Off

When Derek and I moved into this house, getting the new phone service set up was quite a fiasco.
The phone company (I'll refer to them as QWorst) told me several things that were untrue, including the fact that wound up in me actually not having phone service at both my old and new residences simultaneously.

When we had moved, QWorst assured me that not only was I able to keep the old phone number, but they could activate the line so that our current (old) number would ring at both residences if someone called.

Big fat ugly mole with a hair growing out of it bald faced lie!

Instead we wound up having to wait 4 days in our new home with phone service, but we were told that they would keep the old line active at no charge to us. Great consolation since the house was in escrow and the new owners had actually taken physical possession.

QWorst also neglected to inform me of the necessary updates required to keep my DSL service. They cheerily told me I'd have to download new software to update the DSL modem, as the new residence was going to be a different "Flavor" of DSL service, and until I had downloaded that new software, I would be unable to get online. HUH?

How do you suppose I would be able to get to the support website and download the required software if I am unable to get online because my software needed updating?

QWorst said they could mail me a CD rom, for a fee, and it would arrive in 7 to 10 business days.

(Long story, short {Too late, I know...}, I bribed a local friend with access to download the files for me, in exchange for me cooking dinner, he then brought the software to me! Thanks Mike!)

Our new phone was installed.

Great! Hooray!

Easy to remember number. Repetitive. Flows.
Great number. Or so we thought.

We started getting odd phone calls. Often. At late hours of the evening, and early morning. Sleepytime.
Usually in Asian languages that I am unable to reference being that I am painfully Casper the Ghost white.

Then we started getting phone calls during the day.

Normally we do not answer the phone unless we know the phone number calling, we let the machine pick up. We figure if it isn't important enough for you to at least attempt to leave a message, it isn't important enough for us to call you back. Weeds out a lot of dead weight.

The phone calls got annoying.

Finally I decided to investigate some.

A little history. Oregon, a number of years ago, decided to add an area code to the state, since 503 area code was filling up. It was decided that Portland would keep the 503 area code, but other areas of the state would be moved to area code 541.

Great idea.

What people didn't count on was that the internet was proliferating rapidly. Some people would create websites with phone numbers. Other entrepreneurs would create telephone directories based entirely off of those websites. Then those entrepreneurs would make new web page directories and publish them for tourists. And so on.

As it turns out, the phone number we now have used to be for a golf course. If you dial my number with the 541 area code, that is indeed what you would get. Instead, a multitude of websites advertise my home phone number as the golf course info line.

I made attempts to contact the webhosts and webmasters of erroneous info mongerers everywhere. There was an obvious language barrier on more than one occasion. I did manage to get my number removed from a Japanese Golf Golf Happy! Page. The rest, unchanged.

The calls persisted.

I contacted the golf course, they seemed apathetic. The lackey at the other end of the phone said, "What do you want me to do about it?"

I guess nothing.

I called QWorst to complain. Sure, they would be happy to change me to a new telephone number, for a fee.

No way those thieving, book cooking, money grubbing, lying, cheating, pole jockeys were getting more of my hard earned money.

So, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Now when we get phone calls, the conversation goes somewhat like this:

"Sure, we'd be happy to put you down for a Tee Time. In fact, if you bring a guest, you can play for free!"

We figure after a few months of angry and unhappy customers, perhaps the golf course might be persuaded to take action or at least help to join the fight.


Until then, anyone want to book some time on the greens? I might drive the golf cart myself!